Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Nov 13, 2008

Wrath Night - A Picturebook Story

Once upon a time... a brave druid answered the call to fight Evil...

Wrath Night - Lined up

Joined by dozens of friends ... er... acquaint--... er... okay, dozens of total strangers, he waited for the sun to set and the boat to arrive that would carry him to ever-greater glory.

Wrath Night - Kan haz Boat

And arrive it did...

Wrath Night - First Boat

With visions of daring do and swooning damsels in distress dancing in his head, he faced forward as the majestic Kraken crested her first waves.

Wrath Night - First Boat Ever

(He rather thought maybe that Joebaahb fellow was on the wrong ship, just for the record... )Wrath Night - To Northrend

... and then...

POOF!

Wrath Night - Lolz false alarm

...

Yeah. Achem.

Once upon a time, a brave druid who had logged out and back in answered the call to fight Evil. Again.

Wrath Night - Lining up - take 2

The Kraken returned, inevitable as the tides, to whisk the eager adventurers to a new world...

Wrath Night - Boat 2

Her briney deck was full to bursting as she once again  set sail...

Wrath Night - BoatezBut fate (and maybe Blizzard) is cruel.

RE-POOF!

Wrath Night - OMGLOLZ

Rhese fought with despair, but the wisdom of friends and countrymen soon buoyed his flagging spirits...

Wrath Night - Blind Leading Blind

... more or less. He couldn't help but liken the moment to "the blind leading the blind."

... -_-

Still, ever a druid to harken to sage advice, our druidic hero proceeded to log, reboot, turn three circles, light some candles to the Wrath gods, and then wait the requisite short eternity for Kraken v. 3.0

Wrath Night - Tiger eatez

She arrived just in time.

... What? After all that waiting, tiger was hungry, okay?!

Wrath - 4th times the charm    Aligned against anything that would stand in their way, the heroes of Azeroth (finally) felt the stinging rain of Northrend... 

Valiance Keep - Borean Tundra... and faced the mighty walls of Valiance Keep.

Wrath Night - Valiance in Sight

And so, the brave druid who ventured to the frozen north (through many trials and tribulations) gained the first reward of many...

Discovered - Valiance Keep

The ... Beginning.

^_^



Nov 5, 2008

Public Service Announcement: Just Say NO!

Dear Khierra,

You don't know me, but I am a hat activist. I scour Azeroth for the Headgear that Should Never Be Seen. Wherever I findi t, I find a cause, and I am compelled to lobby long and hard against its use. Horrible hats are a blight on the eyeballs of Azerothians everywhere!

Yours, dear druid, is one of Them.

Please understand. I sympathize; I know the temptation that a stat-rich new headpiece offers. I spent my own period of weakness beneath the brim of a particularly rancid millinery confection. I don't blame you for the errors of your youth, but I do beg you to see the Light. I don't think I could bear to see another young adventurer fall to the same evil that has claimed so many, including a dear friend of mine.

Be strong, young sister. Hide your helm for the good of all Azeroth (and Outlands).

And remember...

Evil Hat!

With Best Intentions,
~Rhoelyn of Proudmoore



Nov 4, 2008

The Day the World (of Warcraft) Stood Still

election08

By R.A. Silverwing | Tuesday, November 4, 2008, 3:56 PM

Months of preparation. Billions of gold in campaign funds. Two thousand five hundred and ninety-three babies of all races kissed. At least three aides lost to tragic attempts to give friendly pats to hunter pets.

Yes, we've all been waiting with baited breath as our candidates made their speeches, took their stands, and brought forth their glorious plans for the future of Azeroth and the Outlands. We've all been watching the calendars count down to one short, historic day that will change our lives and determine the course of the next four years. A day that has finally come.

Welcome, Alliance and Horde alike, to Election Day 2008!

The Candidates: DeNUBlicans

saurfang4prez A celebrated war veteran, a household name, a seasoned and experienced politician - High Overlord Saurfang and his lovely (albeit previously relatively unknown) running mate, Captain Valindria of the Shattered Sun, have built a strong platform based on using productivity and extra beatings for peons and adventurers alike to rebuild our failing economy and revitalize a depressed national outlook.

Despite his advancing age, Saurfang's strength and prowess suggest that Azeroth (and the Outlands) will enjoy four years of firm leadership and a no-holds-barred aggressive front against the forces of chaos. High Overlord Saurfang believes that it is strategically and morally essential that we support the fledgling government of Shattrath until it is capable of governing itself and defending its people.

The Azeroth (and Outland) that Saurfang and Valindria envision is a powerful, independent environment that uses a balanced approach to care for the health and well-being of every citizen.

Except maybe the scummiest of the Alliance scum. Those guys can rot in jail until the day they wake up Forsaken.

Soundbytes of the Campaign:

  • Introduction for H.O. Saurfang at the DeNUBlican National Convention:

    "High Lord Saurfang can cleave Azeroth and hit Outland. He can execute his enemy at 100% health, just to save time. The Deeprun Tram was made when he charged at IF from SW.

    If he was a hunter, he'd tame Omen. If he was a warlock, he would enslave Kazzak. And if he decided to go to Outland, Nefarian would be his mount."

  • Saurfang's take on Illidan Stormrage, from an interview with Bobwa Waters:

    "Stupid nightelven kid. Thinks cuz he was locked away for a few thousand years, he gets to be all emo and go cut the world. Lemme tell you something, Bobwa. He doesn't know pain. He doesn't know fifty years in a prison camp where they tear out yer toenails cuz ya didn't stand up straight enough.

    Oh, yeah. I know pain. I eat it fer breakfast in the mornin', and then I give the extra helpins to my enemies with some left over for my butler, Chuck. That kid better stay off MY lawn, or I'll have to teach his tattooed butt just what pain really is. "

  • Valindria in discussions with the Kurenai vizier:

    "Oh, golly! We should go hunting merlocs, don'cha'know? I tell you what, there's nothing quite as invigorating as stalking a little rawgler across the beaches of Quel'Dee isle. It's peachy keen."

The Candidates: Evocrats

vargothrandomArchmage Marvin Vargoth is out to break the mold, and as the first Kirin'Tor to run for President, he's off to a great start! With his running mate, some guy that no one knows or cares about, he's spreading the fever for change, promising lower mana costs for all casters and a policy of tending to the needs closer to home as a first priority.

Young (relatively) and idealistic, many are heralding Vargoth as the firecracker force that this World needs to get back on its feet and make itself strong once more. He wants to close the gap between the 70s and the 30s, proposing sweeping XP tax changes that will take from the rich and give to the poor.

The Azeroth (and Outland) that Vargoth and that other guy envision is a place of peace and stability, one that is free from the squabbles of the day and prospering due to self-sufficiency, equality, and affordable polymorphs for all.

Soundbytes of the Campaign:

  • Vargoth at the Evocratic National Convention:

    "The land is in worse shape than I could've imagined. If the damage continues at this rate, then our world will be nothing but cosmic gravel very soon.

    Where will it stop, I wonder? Perhaps the better question is, 'will it stop?'"

  • That other guy, from an interview with Bobwa Waters:

    Bobwa: "Who are you, again?"
    JoeRandom: "... "

  • Ultarn the Warrior, citizen of Ironforge:

    "The only thing I know fer sure about that Vargoth fellow is that he wins battles. When my friends and I are facing a beating at the hands of Vashj or Kael, worn down and tired as we may be, we always have our ace ready. All he has to do is stand there and wave, do a bit of laughin', maybe, and we got all we need for our victory.

    Y'ask me, I'd rather have him not-fighting at my side than about a third of my raid members...* "

* Cough. Ultarn never said this. Shhhh.... artistic license!



Sep 19, 2008

An' It Be a Holiday!

If'n ye 'as an ounce o' sense in yer barnacle-'fested, landlubber brain, ye'll 'ave already seen 'Ripides' warnin' an' perpared yerself. If'n not, then ye deserves ta dangle from th'mizzenmast by yer rotted toes, ye blitherin' slackjaw squiffy!

T'day be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, an' ain't nothin' like an 'earty chorus of avasts an' ahoys t'make th' lowest jack be feelin' like a swashbucklin' 'ero with a wench on each arm, I tells ye.

So, hoist the mainsails, ye scurvey sons o' a biscuit eater. Tis time t'be takin' th'ways of the sweet trade t'yer black 'an twisted 'earts 'til ya be loaded t'th' gunwales an' caterwhaulin' loudly 'nuff what t'send th' lilly-livered runnin' fer shore. Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

An' be makin' sure ye raise at leas' one mug o' grog t'th' cap'n an' 'is best mate. They be deservin' th'honor, says I. 'Sides, Cap'n Slappy an' Ol' Chumbucket been knowed t'put th' black mark on scalliwag's fer less'n that.

'Appy Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye pack 'o scurvey dogs!

pirateday2008

Piratical linkin's:



Sep 11, 2008

WHadLibs?

Here on the technological cutting-edge that is Points of Convergence, we have long had a tool that is beautiful and new to the BlogAzeroth community. (Ahem. Well, not new so much as resumed after the forum upgrade and institution of a new theme. But hey, let me dramatize, okay? It makes things tastier.)

As I was saying, BlogAzeroth has a new toy that has been proving a little oddly fun to play with. Here is a transcript of the thread that started what I can only call a new game with great potential.

Post title: WE CAN HAZ TOOLTIPS!

Phaelia: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.

Rhoelyn: I'm a model. You know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk.

Behemothdn: And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that?Felorc is too sexy for his pirate hat!

Phaelia: Also, I shake my little tush on the catwalk.

StoppableForce: And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

Behemothdn: I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat

Leaf: I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love.
Love's going to leave me.

Hrm. Well, maybe we all need to go back and review the lyrics, but much random fun has been had. Worse, though. It's given me an idea. Drumroll, please...

WHadLibs!

Let's play WHadLibs! Here's how it works:

Below, you'll find a short excerpt from ... something. Anything can do, but for today, it's a great piece of wit from my idol, Khol Drake. In the passage, I've marked certain words in boldface and underline. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to take each of the marked words and find the funniest, most clever, at least semi-relevant WoWHead link you can to turn it into a hyperlink. You have all of the contents of WoWHead to play with, but bonus brownie points can be earned by choosing links that are creative, unique, funny, and / or alter the meaning of the sentence. (Get it? It's Madlibs, but with Java code and prettier graphics. Thus, it's WoWHeadLibs... WHadLibs. BOHOHO! My dorkery knows no bounds. )

Copy, paste, and add in your links, then post your version of the story in the comments. We'd all love to be amused by whatever you can come up with. Heck, who knows. If this is a fun enough game, I'd love to turn it into a contest and have a weekly WHadLibs winner. I'd give you a badge of honor and a spotlight widget on the sidebar. :)

Remember, to get a good tooltip, you'll want to avoid NPCs and places, as only objects, abilities, quests and spells have proper popups. The idea is that no one should have to click through to WoWHead to read your story. (Sorry, WoWHead dudes, but c'mon. You don't really need the extra hits from 'lil ol' us.) Also, it's worth mentioning that in order to read the comments with proper tooltips displaying, you will have to read them on this post's permalink page. Blogger's comment entry page is staid and boring and does not support anything as fun as little boxes that follow your mouse around like lost puppies.

Ah, well. ... soon, we will be free, my minions! Duh-duh-DUHHHH.... >:}

Achem. Anyway. Here's your WHadlib for the day:

“Really, Frank—can I call you Frank? You don’t even have to actually have any real information, Frank. Just point me toward someone who does and you get to stumble away from here...well, once your kneecaps heal, anyway.”

“M’name’s Edward,” the lieutenant slurred through his swollen, bleeding lips. I probably shouldn’t have punched him in the mouth so many times. He was having trouble speaking.

-- excerpt from A Stab In the Dark, Part the Twelfth: Uncomfortable Compromises

Have at thee!



Apr 3, 2008

Cop Out: Gnome on a Turtle

Today has been... odd, to say the least. I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say that I ain't writin' nothing, and ya can't make me!

It's time for a quality cop-out*...

Cue the Gnome on a Turtle!

Gnome on a turtle!

* "Quality" being a relative term, of course. I'll be back with a real update on Monday. :)
PS: For those of you from the guild, bonus points if you can guess the guest-gnome!



Apr 1, 2008

Compendium of Fools - 2008

If you haven't looked at your calendar - I mean, really looked at that-there datestamp, then you're in for a rough day. It's April 1st, and that means you're best served to suspend all belief until 11:59 PM tonight.

On the bright side, presuming you didn't fall for any of it, this is a great day for a smile and a laugh, both of which I love to bring to my audience. Thus, though it's not an official update day here at PoC, I give you my Compendium of Fools. Go. Enjoy. Lock your gullibility in the closet on your way out the door.

  1. Slugs with lasers!
    Blizzard has announced its newest foray into the Console market: World of Warcraft, The Molten Core. With such features as movement in any of 8 unique directions, glorious 192i resolutions, and SOUND, how can you possibly resist what is sure to be a record-breaking release for your PS3 and Xbox 360?! (... or maybe the Atari 2600?)

    The Molten Core
  2. In a monumental feat of productivity, Blizzard has also taken the opportunity to announce a new hero class for the Wrath of the Lich King expansion: the Bard. If you thought 2.4 was breaking the barriers of gameplay, then you've got to see what's in store for those of us who take the path of hardcore Rock damage. Sexy and powerful, this new ultimate class may just beat the Death Knight into obscurity.

    The Bard
  3. There's more. Blizzard has brought a new addition to its StarcraftII page. The Terran Marines are getting a boss new unit, and he ain't there to chew no cud. Meet the Mad Cow Marine, the baddest bovine on the block! After so long, it's finally true. There is a cow level.

    The Mad Cow
  4. Last, but certainly not least, Diablo II hasn't escaped the Blizzmonster initiative for 2008. Added to the expansion page is a wonderful new accessory, the Loot PiƱata. I don't know how we ever dungeon crawled without it. (Though I wish I knew who found this page, because they need a big old pat on the back. I could not find any linkage from the Diablo II site.)
    Loot Pinata
  5. WoW Insider, long considered a key source for all the latest WoW info, tips, and tricks, has decided that it's time to move along with the tide of change. Say goodbye to WoW Insider and hello to Hello Kitty Insider, your source for HKSuperman and so much more. Triple B assures us that this is no joke, so it must be true. Have you got your Hello Kitty Online beta key, yet?
    HKO Insider
  6. WoWHead, the popular and very useful WoW database site, has gotten a minimalist... and rather familiar-looking overhaul for this most auspicious of holidays. Now, where have we seen that look, before? Hmmm...
    WoWHead
  7. Druidity and Roguery
    Phaelia and Valenna, apparently having recently traded WoW accounts altogether, have written up their respective guides to their new 70 classes. Check out Phaelia's Guide to Roguery and Valenna's Guide to Druidity. Not only are these two BlogAzeroth founders wise about their new toons, but they are apparently well versed in the creation of new and exotic WoW terminology. Who will be next to pontificate about classifery?!
  8. Over at A Dwarf Priest, our earnest and honest little healiforating friend is not trying to fool you for this April 1st, but she is doing a good job of amusing you. Check out the amusing and impressive loot on her boyfriend's Loot-a-day World of Warcraft calendar. I'd totally go for with a gnome in those babies! Wouldn't you?!
  9. McLovin' has done it, again. Always the first to bring us the latest news from the Tech front, he has yet another wild scoop over on his World of McLovin'. The iRaid, long rumored to be in development, is confirmed, and WoW is on its way to your handheld. Sweet! Farming during boring meetings never looked so simple.
    World of McLovin'
  10. Leafshine brings us a very new, very important secret to that 10-man instance that we all love to hate. Make sure you go see her Secrets of Karazhan video! If you follow her simple moves, you'll be rickrollin' your way to phat lewtz in no time.
These are the WoW April Fools that I've found so far. What else can we add to our list? Have you found anything hilarious? Whatever you choose, have a fun and lighthearted Tuesday. Happy April Fools Day!

Late edit:

I just found this one, and though it's not WoW-related, I think this crowd will appreciate the tease.
  1. From IGN, we have Legend of Zelda: The Movie
Ah, if ONLY this were real... and about 50x less B-quality. :P But still, it's a great present for April Fools Day. We can dream!